By Janeen Ellsworth
This post was edited on July 17, 2019 from its original version.
The wisest of sages know it. So do Buddhist monks and the most connected spiritual leaders among us.
Well-being is a choice.
To have it, to achieve it, to snatch it out of the sky is our decision. That's it.
Whether or not we choose to accept it is totally and completely up to us.
It's available at all times.
Feeling that sense of ease, that sense of safety, that sense of confidence and wholeness that well-being brings, depends entirely on whether we let it in, on whether we let it bathe us in comfort and peace, or whether we box it out, refusing to feel its softness.
The proverbial $#it hit the proverbial fan in my family on June 2. My stepmother, who was already mysteriously unwell for what seemed like an agonizing six months, took a catastrophic fall in the bathroom. It caused, what *should* have been (in most instances) a life-ending spinal injury: a break to C1 and C2, and a contusion on the nerve that controls the diaphragm that would render her paralyzed from the neck down and permanently unable to breathe without the aid of a ventilator.
Of course, nobody knew any of that in the immediate horrific hours that followed.
My father, bless his weary heart, was there at the time, heard the thump of her hitting the floor--or the tub, perhaps?--as he dutifully stacked ham onto bread downstairs in the kitchen, making them both lunch. He ran upstairs to find her, unconscious, contorted, and so he called 911 and blew air into her mouth for ten minutes 'til the ambulance arrived.
I've stepped away from this blog since then so that I could be there to hold my dad's hand in the ICU, pray with him, drive him home at the end of those unending, awful first few weeks, bring him dinner or lunch.
I paused all this yammering on I tend to do about plastic bottles and air pollution so that I could be there to simply hug my step-brother--a towering, golden-tanned, 30-year-old hunk of a Ken doll lookalike who catches bad guys for a living and typically walks with military-grade posture--as he crumpled into a sobbing heap of despair.
Except--except!!--to remind ourselves, our tribe, that the white light of the holy spirit, or God, or Source, or whatever you want to call it, is shining upon us all day, every day.
That there can be comfort even in the unlikeliest, most horrific depths of despair.
That these skin-covered vessels we call our body temples are just out for a wild ride through space and time, making a stop on this here planet we call Earth.
We're on this ride that we selected. It's like choosing between riding the Thunderbolt versus the Jackrabbit at Kennywood. Either way, it'll be bumpy, it'll whip you around, it'll fill you with terror at points and full-on ecstasy at others.
But when it's all over and the train pulls into the station, we will be okay.
You will be okay.
They will be okay and even she will be okay.
Because we can choose to let well-being in.
It may look very different to you than it looks to me. It may look nothing like you want it to look. It might not meet the strict parameters you've laid out for your life.
But try to ease up on those hard-and-fast req's.
Let the sun shine in. Let your spirit take over. Stop trying to control everything, for the love of Pete. (Who was Pete, anyway?)
Breathe--if you can. Sheezus, even if it has to be through a tube. Even if it's through a ventilator. Even if it's through a panic attack. Even if it's through a ten-car pileup. It's hard, effing hard, but you gotta try to breathe.
Remember: there is energy. Good energy. All around us. Swirling and available. Dripping off of tree leaves. Fluttering through the wings of bees and butterflies.
Remember: you are energy. You have good energy. It's swirling inside you, through you and all around you.
Remember that energy is neither created nor destroyed. It merely shifts forms and becomes something altogether different. Emanating into the stratosphere. Affecting all other beings.
How freaking amazing is that?
You are infinite and beautiful. And you can be well. If you want to.
For there is always more room in our hearts to ask the universe for the wellness of others.
Third, imagine yourself in that warm, golden-white light, surrounded by a bubble of safety and well-being. Close your eyes and imagine it until you can feel it. As Abraham-Hicks always says, "If you can feel it, you can manifest it."
And when well-being appears, let it in. Trust me. It will come.
Update on my stepmother's condition: She continues to fight for her life. She is awake and aware and communicative by mouthing words and responding with gentle nods or shakes of the head, or by blinking for yes. She and my dad and stepbrother have a white board/letter system where they point to rows of the alphabet and she indicates whether, yes or no, the first letter, then the second, then the third and so on, is in that row or not, until they can stitch words and sentences together. She's just had a halo procedure and is now in a nursing rehab facility some 20 miles from her and my dad's home. It's not all horror anymore; sure, my dad is beyond exhausted and beyond heartsick. And yet, there are moments of joy. There has been laughter. My stepmother still has her sarcastic sense of humor, it would seem. She still enjoys watching reality TV and having her nails painted. And this tragedy has brought all of us closer together than we have ever, ever, ever been. For that, I am grateful.
"We want to speak about freedom: This is a Vibrational Universe. The only Source that flows is the Source of Well-Being. And, physical and Nonphysical, we are all free to allow that Well-Being to flow to us and through us or we can pinch it off. It is our call — every time…"
I'm Janeen; writer, mother, wife, and full-time, radical Reductionist. I share stupid-easy tips on how to save money while reducing your impact on the environment, & I'm committed to helping others live a life of simple sustainability.
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